A British woɱaп has given birth to her first child at the age of 58 after paying for IVF abroad that would have been denied to her on the NHS because she is too old.
Carolyne Ness, now 59, paid £4,500 for a procedure called embryo adoption, where a donor egg and sperm are fertilised and implanted in the woɱaп’s womb.
Under NHS guidelines, women under 40 can be eligible for three cycles, and woɱaп aged between 40 and 42 are eligible for one cycle.
Carolyne Ness, now 59, paid £4,500 for a procedure called embryo adoption, where a donor egg and sperm are fertilised and implanted in the woɱaп’s womb (Picture: Moments Captured by Jaclyn)
Carolyne had married when she was 30, but after failing to fall naturally pregnant by 40 a doctor gave her the devastating news that she had unexplained infertility.
She said: ‘Our marriage did not survive that crushing disappointment so I found myself single and childless as I entered my 40s, which was definitely not my plan.’
Carolyne began dating to find someone who might be interested in having children, but had no luck.
She soon moved to Australia for a fresh start where she settled into life as a receptionist in Sydney.
But as she hit 50, she still had not become a mother.
Pictured during her pregnancy, which she waited so long for (Picture: Vogue Studios)
Carolyne and her son Javed pictured shortly after his birth (Picture: Phoenix Features)
She looked into adoption in Australia, but found the process to be too long and said: ‘Plus, I wanted to be pregnant. I wanted my baby to grow inside me.’
After a friend suggested embryo adoption, Carolyne discovered that only Cyprus and India offered the procedure to women her age.
She added: ‘If I did have any eggs left, they would not be good quality at my age, but as long as my womb was healthy, there was no reason why I could not sustain a donor pregnancy.
‘Critics will lambast me for “playing god” but anyone of any age requiring fertility assistance is depending on the science of IVF to help their dream come true.’
A doctor confirmed that her womb was healthy enough to carry a baby, but Carolyne’s friends were unsure of her decision to try for a baby.
The NHS does not offer IVF to women over the age of 42 (Picture: Phoenix Features)
She says she could not love her little boy anymore if he was made from her own egg (Picture: Phoenix Features)
‘Friends asked if I was sure this was something I really wanted,’ she said.
‘They warned it would be exhausting, I’d miss my freedom and resent the sleepless nights, but they were all mothers already, they had no idea how much I wanted to give up my freedom to love a child like they had.
‘I’m aware of the ethical implications of forcing a pregnancy at my age and have thought about how much of my child’s life I’ll be around for. I did not enter into this lightly. I considered who would look after my child should anything happen to me.
‘My sister Rhona is five years younger than me and my best friend Silvana is ten years younger than me. Both assured me they would always be there for my child.’
Carolyne added: ‘Ulᴛι̇ɱately, no-one knows what is around the corner. Younger women than me become mums and then sadly, their circumstances change too. I couldn’t let ‘”what ifs” stop me.’
Carolyne used her savings to cover the £4,500 treatment at the International Fertility Centre in New Delhi and the £1000 cost of flights and accommodation (Picture: Phoenix Features)
Carolyne used her savings to cover the £4,500 treatment at the International Fertility Centre in New Delhi and the £1000 cost of flights and accommodation for the March 2017 trip.
She says: ‘I had a great holiday, travelling on rickshaws, seeing the Taj Mahal. The clinic was more basic than I was expecting. There was a large waiting room with rows of benches where hopeful couples sat.’
An ultrasound checked Carolyne’s womb, then she was given hormone injections. Out of a list of ten egg and sperm donors, Carolyne made her choice and said: ‘The egg donors were young Indian women and I picked a 21 year old who liked dancing.
‘The sperm donor was an caucasian American. He was 6ft and worked in IT, had dark hair and brown eyes.
‘His donation had been imported, due to a lack of Caucasian donors in India. Neither donors had any legal right to ever contact the child and unless the laws change in India, the child can’t contact them either.’
Pictured during her trip to India where she enjoyed visits to the Taj Mahal and riding on rickshaws (Picture: Phoenix Features)
Three fertilised embryos were grown in the clinic for five days, then transferred into Carolyne’s uterus, in the hopes one would succeed.
Two weeks later, in Australia, a blood test at the doctor’s surgery confirmed that Carolyne was pregnant.
Carolyne was monitored regularly and at the first scan, found out she was expecting a boy, naming him Javed. Her friends threw a baby shower and Silvana agreed to be birthing partner.
Although she struggled with heartburn, Carolyne stayed active, incorporating exercise and meditation into her routine. She even qualified as a counsellor, completing her diploma a month before the baby arrived.
She said: ‘I didn’t get a huge bump because of the way the baby was lying, but people stared. I didn’t mind, I was proud to show off what my body was capable of.’
Three fertilised eggs were grown in a lab for five days and then implanted in her womb (Picture: Phoenix Features)
Undoubtedly one of the oldest British mums to give birth to her first child, Carolyne knows people will criticise her. (Picture: Moments Captured by Jaclyn)
On 6 November 2017 Javed arrived by a planned cesarean, weighing 5lb 20z.
Undoubtedly one of the oldest British mums to give birth to her first child, Carolyne knows people will criticise her.
And while she is the first to admit she will not be kicking a football around with Javed in a few years ᴛι̇ɱe, she argues it has nothing to do with her age.
‘I’ve never kicked a football in my life and I don’t intend to. Silvana was a gym teacher and wants to take Javed hiking,’ she said.
‘I take him swimming and love skiing so I’ll teach him to ski one day. I will be 60 in March but I have plenty of energy and I don’t even mind the sleepless nights.
‘I could not love Javed more even if he was made from my own egg. He will grow up in no doubt as to how loved and wanted he is.
‘There is no point focusing on how old Javed will be when I die. We focus on enjoying every day of every year that we have together.’